I can’t seem to remember his face
but his cologne, his voice rich with gold, even the dip of his collarbone
remain
left behind in the temporary place he called home-
my heart.
I can’t seem to remember his face
so I shroud the blank slate in my mind of him,
my dream boy,
with a veil of marigolds;
marigolds that thirst for sunshine
bringing color to my lifeless complexion,
marigolds that replace his lingering touch with bittersweet petals of affection
carefully picked apart,
marigolds that flood my eyes with tangerine and lemon hues
thriving on gloomy blue tears I am tired of holding in.
With his face hidden behind
a mask of my favorite perennials-
maybe then, I could despise him less-
maybe then, I could feel less heartbroken-
maybe then, I could accept his haunting presence imprinted in my evening visions.
We were simple and shy with tantalizing eyes-
expecting that one would do the same for the other;
but the reality of the matter was, was that
they were expectations
and what we had, had fallen short
of any deep commitments.
Time was not working in our favor,
and it seemed as if an ocean of marigolds pushed us apart even further.
The fabricated mask of flowers
endlessly flutter to the floor as if they are
butterfly wings
bursting with ambivalence;
my stomach churns, and my heart soars.
It’s not that I couldn’t bear to hear his voice rich with gold,
it’s that I wasn’t ready to rekindle the fire
that had left me cold.
I will find a way to
hold you in my arms,
to catch your gaze,
interlocking fingers with
palms embraced-
I will go after you,
my dream boy,
through startling evening visions,
fabricated memories of nostalgia,
or perhaps
across a sea of soothing marigolds.
This piece was inspired by an activity Ms. Hunni brought up in class. We were told to make a short list of things we see, hear, taste, touch, and smell; I listed “his face” as something I see and it became the basis in which this poem was created from.
The concept of this piece was later developed from the initial idea of just “his face” to being my “dream boy” due to inspiration from the Korean pop song “Dream Girl”, which depicts how the singers wish to meet the girl that appears in their dreams (which are referred to as “evening visions” in my poem), but disappears in reality. In the actual music video, the girl’s face is covered by an assortment of flowers so I decided to selectively choose marigolds, my favourite flower, to add a personal aspect to this piece.
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